Choose Your Hard (long post warning)

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Over the past eighteen months, I've been hit by a car (no, I wasn't in a car; I was in the street crossing with the light), had a workplace accident, served four intense weeks of Grand Jury duty, sold a house, and bought and downsized to a condo. That move also meant leaving the 122-year-old, three-story Victorian where we had lived for 38 years. During this time, I continued to work coaching executives, leading workshops, and speaking at conferences.

So why am I writing about this? I've done a lot of work on change management. I conduct workshops on leading yourself and your team through change. I am certified in The Four Rooms of Change, which helps individuals, teams, and entire organizations understand where they are in the change process, how they feel about it, and what they want to do to move through the change effectively.

For all that, I need to make a confession: I'm not a big fan of change. I'm a girl who likes her rituals and routines. I crave stability, and I like the predictable. Change upends that. I don't do spontaneous very well, if at all.

Yet these past 18 months, I've had to change. I had to let go, literally, of familiar objects, places, views, and experiences. After both my accidents, I had to adjust based on what I could and could not do physically. I had to make decisions about things I hadn't thought about in a long time (my mobility options, furniture choices). I had to make time for physical therapy appointments and follow-up care. I resisted almost every step of the way, in every area.

Then I remembered the advice I give others: choose your hard. I remembered telling women, "Asking for a raise is hard. Feeling undervalued and underpaid is hard. Choose your hard." I thought about all the times I'd challenged an emerging leader I was coaching: "Stepping out of the weeds to spend more time on big-picture strategy is hard. Being judged as not yet ready to lead on an enterprise level because you won't step away from the minutiae of the day-to-day is hard. Choose your hard.”

So I applied my advice to myself. I told myself, "Letting go of objects, habits, behaviors, and routines is hard. Feeling weighed down by things, relationships, behaviors, and patterns that no longer serve you is hard. Choose your hard." I did, maybe reluctantly at first, but I did.

What are the choices you're avoiding and therefore the choices you need to make? Challenge yourself as you weigh your choices. Then choose your hard.